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December 13, 2011

Kelly Ripa Looks Amazing in a Bikini

Kelly Ripa has the right last name because the girl is ripped all over. Kelly Ripa is so fit that she could compete in fitness competitions and win.

How old is Kelly Ripa? She's 41. How many kids does she have? 3 - aged 13, 10 and 8.

Not only is Kelly Ripa fit as hell; she does not have a drop of cellulite on her body. I mean, seriously, check out these bikini pictures. Granted, she has a weird belly button, but besides that, she is perfect.

June 9, 2011

Zuo Furniture Review

Have you ever seen a piece of furniture and thought to yourself, oh my goodness, that would look perfect in my house? Well, so did I.

Zuo furniture review in Montreal

Little did I realize that Zuo Modern Contemporary in Montreal was about to feed a rage within with a mediocre product and the worst customer service ever.

I ordered three bar stools called Equino in white. They arrived almost as soon as I placed the order, which was great - if the Zuo product didn't suck so much.

So yeah, I called Zuo customer service and spoke to Michelle, who asked me to take pics, upload them and email them to her. I guess they need proof that I wasn't lying because, you know, there's a lot I can do with extra bases, one stool and some missing screws.

Needless to say, I did what she asked.

Zuo furniture in Montreal sucks

The replacement items were shipped within a week. This time, some things were wrong and the two replacement bases were also damaged. Enraged, I called Michelle at Zuo immediately.

Her response? "I'm not responsible for what the warehouse sends out." Lovely, and wow, way to represent your company. Zuo girl said that she would call me back. That never happened.

And as you can imagine, having 2 kids, a full-time job, and the little kinks that we call life, I sorta, kinda dropped the issue.

But the issue reared itself again when the middleman,, got involved.

Zuo Montreal has the worst customer service

Lo and behold, Michelle told BeyondTheRack that I was lying and never contacted her a second time. As you can imagine, Zuo girl left me enraged.

A new Zuo woman named Emmanuel contacted me this time and wow, what an attitude. First off, she exaggerated everything - using words like "never" and "a million times", so I knew that she was going to be as much of a pleasure to talk to as was the original Zuo girl I dealt with.

She said she would call me back in a few minutes and guess what? She never did, either. I'm guessing that's the MO at Zuo Modern Contemporary as a whole - "call you back" is just an expression.

She called the next day however, when I informed BeyondTheRack that I want nothing to do with these people. Apparently, they had shipped over the replacement parts without telling me.

Zuo furniture in Montreal employees are liars

When Zuo girl #2 called, I was on fire from knowing that Michelle accused me of lying, so as you can imagine, my vocabulary had become quite colorful upon answering the phone.

Then, Zuo girl #2 started off with another lie, "BeyondTheRack says you told them that I never spoke to you..." Fire was on.

So I laid into her about what a crappy company Zuo was and how their customer service was atrocious and that, because Michelle had accused me of lying, I was "f*ckin" enraged. Well, you won't believe what her retort was.

She said "I can't speak to you if you keep telling me to go f*ck myself." She confirmed that she was deluded. But it's true I should not have cursed.

Tell others not to buy Zuo Modern Contemporary furniture

Anyway, I told her that I wanted nothing more to do with them and that they could keep their crappy Zuo products and that I would deal with Zuo Modern Contemporary via the social media circuit. And that's where you come in...

Please take note that Zuo Modern Contemporary houses a mediocre product and that their customer service is awful. Zuo sucks. Zuo scams their clients with nice pictures. It's sort of a bait-and-switch.

So good luck, Zuo, you're going to need it.

May 17, 2011

Boston Rob Won Survivor? Really?

What in the world does it say about all the contestants when they knowingly keep a sneaky, manipulative guy like Robert Carlo Mariano, aka Boston Rob, around, knowing that he has already gone all the way?

And why the hell does Survivor keep bringing Boston Rob back to the show? Is he a ratings winner, or did Boston Rob beg them to get on so he could shed all that pasta weight he gained over the years?

All in all, Boston Rob went all the way to the end and took home another million dollars to his wife, Amber Brkich, and two daughters, Lucia Rose and Carina Rose.

I'm not sure if Survivor was rigged this time around, or the contestants were just burnt, but either way, the fact that Boston Rob took home the prize speaks volumes about the state of the world today. To me, it seems quite clear: it's all just a little bit of history repeating itself.

October 21, 2010

Shirtless Celeb of the Day - Alex Meraz

Alex Meraz is the latest addition to the Twilight franchise and will be playing Paul in New Moon. And yes, he's as hot as they come, but don't get too excited; Alex Meraz married and is constantly taking photographs of himself with his pregnant wife.

Nevertheless, that doesn't steal away from his hotness, but he will never be in the Robert Pattinson crazy fan realm because the girls tend to veer away from the already married dudes. Which is great, if you think about it.

Here are some shirtless pictures of Alex Meraz anyway, just so you can appreciate his utter perfection.

February 15, 2010

GearZap Products For Laptops

If you own a laptop and always feel like a jackass because there's always something missing, now you can finally get your hands on those little gadgets that will help to complete your life and make blog posting easier than it ever was.

GearZap offers the cutest little laptop accessories, laptop bag (so now you never have to worry about dropping it too hard), and even a MacBook case for those die hard Mackers out there.

Too often, I take my laptop out with me so that I can post while I get incredibly jittery on Starbuck's coffee only to realize that I forgot to bring something crucial that I needed with me, which is why I sometimes don't post all day.

But now that I have all the laptop accessories I could ever need at a one-stop shop, poking fun at Perez Hilton or featuring a Shirtless Celeb of the Day just got that much easier.

Of course, it's not that my life without these accessories is incomplete, it's just that sometimes, knowing that I have all these little gadgets in my life just makes me feel like I'm 10 times more important than I actually am.

As well, whenever I pull out a certain freaky looking laptop accessory, people sitting around Starbucks tend to think I'm some kind of cyber genius, when in reality, all I really know how to do is press the on button.

But no matter because now I look like a blogger with a purpose and if you know what's good for you, or just want to act like you really, really know what you're doing, and want a great laptop bag to go with, then you should definitely invest in a little accessory or two to up your importance quotient.

So take my advice and get yourself a thing-a-majig or two so that you could feel better about yourself and start posting about the things that really matter. Don't say I never gave you anything.

October 26, 2009

Idiot of the Day - Denise Richards

If you don't know what Twitter is exactly, please step away from the computer.

Denise Richards wins the Idiot of the Day award for posting her private number on Twitter and then thinking she deleted it, when, in fact she did not.

So the 1.28 million followers Denis Richards has on Twitter were probably calling her like mad. So now she changed her number and apologized for being such a doof.


August 12, 2009

Channing Tatum Stripping Video

Channing Tatum is sexy as hell, even at 18, wearing a thong and lip syncing on stage, he proved that he was the man. And man does he have a package!

We love you Channing Tatum!

The song in the beginning is by Shai and is called "Comforter".

July 27, 2009

Celebrity Flaw - Madonna Veiny Arms

What the hell happened to Madonna? Why does she look like her skeleton's on the outside?

Somebody give this woman a hamburger, for the love of God!

July 13, 2009

Tony Romo Dumps Jessica Simpson

Poor Jessica Simpson is single again because Tony Romo dumped her ass now that his new season is about to begin. Jessica Simpson is now spending her time on Twitter and trying to land the covers of all the tabloids. Unfortunately, a little thing called Michael Jackson has monopolized the tabloids.

Jessica Simpson is about to gain more weight than we have ever seen before. Unless of course, John Mayer decides to pay her a visit or two now that Tony Romo has given her her 4%.

Hopefully, this won't translate into another awful country album on Jessica Simpson's part. And for her sake, I hope Tony Romo has a terrible season; otherwise it will confirm what everyone has always thought to be true.

July 8, 2009

Celebrity Flaw of the Day - Mena Suvari Cellulite

Ah yes, the cellulite is back and this time Mena Suvari is the carrier. Although from the front, Mena Suvari looks downright flawless, when baby girl turns around, she has the hamstrings of a cottage cheese mama.

Now I'm not laughing it up while I write this, I feel for all women who just can't shake that orange peel away, but I do take comfort in the fact that even a boatload of money cannot take that cellulite away. Nevertheless, Mena Suvari is beautiful, with cellulite or without cellulite.

June 26, 2009

The Michael Jackson Metamorphosis

Michael Jackson died on June 25, 2009, and all I can think about is what he would've looked like had he not had all those surgeries.

I wonder if he would've gone through all the crap he went through had he seemed more "normal" to the outside world.

Why did he change his look so drastically? Why wasn't he happy with himself? Did his radical surgeries kill his career? Did people have a hard time looking directly at him?

At the end of the day, Michael Jackson was a man with feelings and emotions like the rest of us, but most people couldn't see it because they were so busy looking away in horror.

Michael Jackson was an amazing artist, a great dancer, and he did set the standard for most pop artists today. Unfortunately, he faded out in the late '90s and then became more famous for his personal life than his professional one.

I grew up on Off the Wall, Thriller, Bad, and HIStory, so I know how amazing all his songs are, I just wish we could've seen the real Michael Jackson and appreciated him in all his glory.

Rest in peace, Michael Jackson, you will be missed.

June 25, 2009

Farrah Fawcett Died at 62

Farrah Fawcett, 62, has died today, June 25, 2009. Her entire family was by her side and Ryan O'Neal is said to have married her before her passing.

Our thoughts and prayer go out to Farrah Fawcett and her family at this time.

No matter how old she got, we always looked at Farrah Fawcett as that sexy beauty on Charlie's Angels. Even when she had a moment of weirdness on Letterman, we still thought she was sexy.

Here's to you, Farrah Fawcett, you're everyone's angel now.

Perez Hilton is Secretly Straight

Perez Hilton, perhaps the most overated gossip blogger, has finally issued an apology for calling a faggot. Yes, Perez Hilton really did call a faggot. It's kind of weird, but I think that all this proves what I've always known to be true. Perez Hilton is straight. There, I said it.

I think that Perez Hilton is just acting gay so that he can get closer to women and then Bang! And he'll always say, "Wow, I don't know how that happened. I really did like penis, you know?"

But all kidding aside, or not, I think this might actually be the beginning of the official "We hate Perez Hilton" campaign. Forget Prop 8, Perez Hilton is the person we need to focus on here.

We all managed to slowly push Paris Hilton out of the mainstream media because she was so useless; now it's up to us to do the same with Perez Hilton.

Personally, I think Perez Hilton deserves a whole lot more than a black eye.

June 4, 2009

David Carradine Dead Bangkok

David Carradine, (I shamefully admit that I thought he became famous because of the Kill Bill franchise), was found dead in Bangkok on Thursday June 4, 2009.

David Carradine was found naked, hanging in the closet at a suite at the luxury Swissotel Nai Lert Park Hotel. David Carradine was in Bangkok filming the a movie called "Stretch".

I have to admit that I am shocked. May David Carradine rest in peace. He was 72.

May 27, 2009

Chris Brown Surfaces on YouTube

Chris Brown surfaced on YouTube promoting a new album and telling the world "I ain't no monster." Wow, who woulda thunk it?

Chris Brown seems to be completely unapologetic for what occured in February 2009 and denies that Rihanna had a black eye and sorta dismisses the fact that he was even arrested for it. 

What do you think? Is Chris Brown's career over? Or will the public let it go and embrace him once again?

Lady Gaga Wants A Big D*ck

Lady Gaga makes it very clear what she looks for in a man - a big dick and nothing else. No, seriously, that's what she told an Australian reporter. 

Now, I don't think that Lady Gaga is particularly hot or even talented, but the fact that she managed to pull a Madonna in 2009 is pretty impressive. I mean, nowadays, nothing shocks anyone, but when she outright tells a reporter, "a big dick," I have to admit, I was taken aback.

So Lady Gaga is going to get a helluva lot of big dick offers now that she made her demands known. And all the small dicked men will hate on her. That's the way life goes...

May 23, 2009

LeBron James Basket Wins the Game

If you don't get the chills from this LeBron James video, even if you don't like basketball, you're cold, baby, cold. 

LeBron James nails a three-pointer to win the game with only 1 second left in the game and his team is losing 95 to 93 to the Orlando Magic. I mean, come on, LeBron James deserves mad props for this. 

Robert Pattinson and Erika Dutra Had Sex

Robert Pattinson is living it up in Cannes and he and a woman named Erika Dutra were busy "canoodling" at one of the parties. Of course, this has all of his teen fans in an uproar. 

Erika Dutra is just your everyday pedestrian Los Angeles resident and is not famous to any extent, but she is now that Robert Pattinson was snapped with his arm around her. 

You know that Erika Dutra will be getting death threats from tween fans around the world. And yes, Robert Pattinson and Erika Dutra left the party together. They probably went to have coffee and nothing more. Just kidding, they had hot, nasty sex for sure. 

Kara DioGuardi Bikini Body

Is it just me or is Kara DioGuardi rocking a really great body under those clothes? On the Wednesday finale of American Idol, Kara DioGuardi not only proved she could sing, she also showed Bikini Girl Katrina Darrell that her body isn't the only body worthy of a bikini. 

Kara DioGuardi ripped off her dress to show off her abs after she finished singing the song, and you could tell that Katrina Darrell had no idea it was going to happen. According to her they "turned my mic off, so obviously they wanted to hear her sing..."

When asked if she was surprised, Katrina Darrell answered, "When she flashed? The white body? Yeah, she needs a spray tan."

Yes, and now, Katrina Darrell needs a new gimmick. Ba-bye.

May 18, 2009

Mel Gibson's Girlfriend is Pregnant

Ah, it all makes sense now, after all, this is not the first time that Mel Gibson has cheated on  his wife. But perhaps it is the frist time he got one of his girls pregnant. 

That's right; 53-year-old Mel Gibson has managed to impregnate his 39-year-old girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, and the two seem to be quite happy about it. 

Oksana Grigorieva already has an 11-year-old son with actor Timothy Dalton and Mel Gibson... well, he has a host of kids with his soon-to-be ex-wife Robyn Gibson.

May 12, 2009

Kelly Clarkson or Meatloaf?

Is this really what Kelly Clarkson looks like now? Meatloaf? Seriously, she looks like Meatloaf!

May 11, 2009

Justin Timberlake's Mother Lover Video

Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg have nailed it yet again. Watch "Mother Lover" and do your best not to crack up.

May 5, 2009

George Clooney Defends Rande Gerber

Cindy Crawford's husband, Rande Gerber, is being sued for sexual harassment by two waitresses who work at a restaurant that he owns. The women claim that Rande Gerber tried kissing them on numerous occasions in 2008, and even put his hand up their skirts. 

Rande Gerber vehemently denies the allegations and now George Clooney has come to his defense. George Clooney and Rande Gerber are both willing to take lie detector tests to prove, once and for all, that these allegations are totally false. 

Rande Gerber says he refuses to pay out one dollar to these money-hungry women and will not settle this case out of court. Good for him. 

May 4, 2009

David Hasselhoff Treated for Alcohol Poisoning

David Hasselhoff has already made a drunken fool of himself while his daughter taped his antics and posted them on the Internet for the world to see, which prompted his wife to leave him and never look back. 

Now, it seems, David Hasselhoff has not changed his spots and has been hospitalized for alcohol poisoning. And believe me, you have to drink a whole lot of alcohol to be treated for poisoning. His poor 16-year-old daughter, Hayley, is the one who found him unconscious and called her mom to come help him.

It's a shame that David Hasselhoff has not gotten his act together. Then again, it's possible that he simply fell off the wagon and went out on a binge because he got some bad news. Maybe he won't be hosting this season of America's Got Talent. The horra...

And by the by, this is the seventh time he's been taken to the hospital with alcohol poisoning over the last few years. 


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