Best Joke of the Year

A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.

"Mom," he asked, "Are these my brains?"

"Not yet," she replied.

American Idol 7 Recap - April 29, 2008

Tonight was Neil Diamond night on American Idol 7, as the popular singer mentored the Top 5 through their two song choices. Of note, some chick was holding up a sign in the audience that read "My husband has a man-crush on Seacrest." Sweetie, your husband doesn't have a man-crush; he's a flamer.



As well, after the first round of songs, the judges were asked to give their opinions of the first songs sung, Paula Abdul, the sober one of the bunch, goes on a tangent about how she enjoyed Jason Castro's first performance but thought the second one was better. Problem is that the second one had yet to happen. Give her another bourbon.

Now let's get to the performances:





Jason Castro
Sang: Forever in Blue Jeans AND September Morn
Ugh! Please someone put this guy out of his misery. The redundancy of his sound shone through this evening because he had two performances and sounded exactly the same in both, despite the varying lyrics. It was atrocious, to say the least.






David Cook
Sang: I'm Alive AND All I Really Need Is You
The first performance was blah so I spent my time wondering why the letters AC were on his jacket and guitar. Then I figured that it was his brother's initials (he's suffering from brain cancer). But David managed to knock it out of the ballpark with his second performance. It was sex incarnate.





Brooke White
Sang: I'm A Believer AND I Am... I Said
Brooke is, how do you say? Strange. She comes out for her first performance belting out the song essentially made popular by the recent Shrek movies, and it was laughable at best. But then she showed off why she's still there with her second performance, sitting by the piano and wearing her heart on her sleeve.





David Archuleta
Sang: Sweet Caroline AND America
Monotonous and predictable (God I hope his dad doesn't hunt me down and beat me), David sang the only way he knows how and the judges ate it up. His second performance was a very smart choice (Simon Cowell agrees) and I'm sure he'll sail on through to the Top 4.





Syesha Mercado
Sang: Hello Again AND Thank the Lord For the Nighttime
I thought it bizarre that Neil Diamond asked her for a hug after she showed him what she can do (he probably just wanted a good breast squish), but Syesha really showed off her talent tonight with two very different performances that were equally impressive. I think that Simon is right that she's going to be in the bottom tomorrow, but it's not because she's bad; it's because she's just not as popular as the rest of the crew.

My predictions for who's going home:
Syesha Mercado (but I wish it was Jason Castro)

Scarlett Johansson Falling Down Video

I have to admit that I was skeptic when I heard that Scarlett Johansson was releasing a music album, but I'm quite impressed by it. Here's is the first 55 seconds of falling down, a cover song of Tom Waits' with David Bowie in the background.

Entertainment News - April 29, 2008

Scarlett Johansson says that, although she may look like a slut, she is far from one and doesn't have any diseases. (CelebNewsWire)

Make sure you tune in to Oprah this Friday because Tom Cruise is going to outdo his couch jumping performance from the last time he was on. (dListed)

Angie Everhart got busted for a DUI. (IDLYITW)

Rumors abound that Mariah Carey is engaged to Nick Cannon. He's not denying it because it's helping him promote a film he has coming out. (ICYDK)

The Beckhams and the Cruises have parted ways because Tommy boy can't be friends with people who aren't Scientologists. (Handbag)