Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are Engaged

So this is it; we're about to lose Jake Gyllenhaal forever. It seems he and Reese Witherspoon are engaged to be married because people caught her wearing the engagement ring. Once Reese Witherspoon noticed that everyone noticed the engagement ring that Jake Gyllenhaal gave her, she took it off and didn't wear it again.

I don't know why Reese Witherspoon is being so mysterious about her relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal. I mean, if he were mine, I'd shout it out from the freakin' rooftops, ya know?

But alas, she's a damn celebrity with children and would likely prefer the privacy of a good relationship than the demise of a public one. Nevertheless, congrats goes out to both of them, and I suppose we won't be using that voodoo doll of Reese, even though we called dibs on Jake ages ago.