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January 19, 2008

Annoying Friends - 4 Ways To Get Rid Of Them

By Joanne Redder

We all have them; they’ve been hanging around for years, annoying us to the point where we feel the need to avoid them. They’re our annoying friends.

And if you’re like most people, you don’t like the idea of confrontation or hurting someone’s feelings. But she’s so annoying that you really need to get her out of your life.

So what do you do, short of moving to another city? Well, luckily, you have other options and there are easy, subtle ways to get annoying friends out of your life.

Get rid of annoying friends tip #1
Make sarcastic remarks

If you’re not the type to bite back when someone annoys you, it may be time to show a little spunk and give them a taste of their own medicine.

Depending on how she annoys you, you need to make remarks that expose her behavior. Without biting so hard that silence falls across the room, you can start by making jokes or remarks about how she is.

The wonderful thing about jokes and sarcasm is that, as much as the person it’s directed at wants to say something, they can’t because they’ll never be sure whether or not you’re kidding.

For example, if you have a friend who does nothing but gossip about everyone and their mother, say something like, “wow, I’m shocked to hear you talking about people so much, that’s so not like you.”

Gage her reaction to your comments and if she becomes somewhat uncomfortable, there’s a good chance she won’t want to hang around someone who makes her feel that way.

Get rid of annoying friends tip #2
Have an outsider offend her
If you have an outspoken friend (think “female version of Kramer”), explain your predicament to her and ask her to help you out. If she’s the outspoken type, she’ll have no problem doing so, especially considering she’s not friendly with your annoying friend to begin with.

Invite both friends over (along with other friends if you like) and when your friend notices the annoying one acting up, she will call her on it.

If they get into an argument, all the better. But prepare to be confronted by the annoying friend afterwards. This is where you need to be the most careful because if you’re not, you may end up getting stuck with her for life.

If she asks you how she offended your friend, tell her that you can’t speak for your friend, but that it may be her constant need for attention. If she disagrees and doesn’t believe that it could be that, shrug your shoulders. In time, she may face the truth.

But, and this is important, make it clear that your “outspoken” friend is a very close friend of yours and that the two of you hang out constantly. With any luck, she’ll stay away any time you mention that she’ll be there.

Get rid of annoying friends tip #3
Avoid her till she goes away
Avoiding a friend is difficult and creates feelings of guilt, but if you hate confrontation and prefer to just drop them cold turkey, this may the only way to go.

Get caller ID and whenever you see her number, just don’t answer the phone. If you need an answering machine, that may be problematic because if you run into her in the future and she asks why you never returned her messages, you’ll have some ‘splainin’ to do.

If possible, avoid owning an answering machine altogether and you can plead innocent. If she asks why you never called, use the “I’m busy” speech. If she’s got any brains at all, she’ll get the hint. If not, then it’s up to you to lie by omission. Don’t offer to call her or say that the two of you should get together, otherwise she won’t stop calling.

Get rid of annoying friends tip #4
Annoy her back

If worst comes to worst, and it’s quite possible that it will, it’s time for you to bring out the big guns and become the woman that annoys you. If she gossips, you will begin to do the same. If she criticizes everything you do, you will do the same right back to her.

The point is to make her recognize how annoying she really is. Unfortunately, there’s a good chance that she won’t get it, but that doesn’t matter because you will likely offend her.

If she asks you why you’re behaving this way, explain that sometimes the only way to show someone how they make you feel is by making them feel the same way. Having solid examples on hand would be great.

This might turn into a confrontation that will end in one of two ways:

1. She might apologize for having been such a bitch for so long and promise to make changes to her attitude.
2. She might become irate because of your accusations and swear that your friendship is over.

Either way, I think you come out a winner, but then, that may be for you to decide.

Annoying friends are useless

There will come a time in your life when you will want to break free of someone – whether it be a relative, a boyfriend, or a girl friend, and although confrontation may not be your forte, you will have to stand up for yourself and refuse to settle for less than you want.

Be the strong woman that you are and don’t let anyone make you feel small or uncomfortable. You are your own protector.

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