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March 19, 2009

Top 10 Celebrity Twitterers

Celebrities hopped on the Twitter bandwagon, which is what made it so spectacular for the rest of us. Watching as the likes of MC Hammer, Condoleeza Rice and other well-known public figures told us what was going on in their day, made us feel that much closer to them.

And so, because some of these celebrities are hard to find, due to the fact that so many losers think it's cool to impersonate them, I give you the Top 10 Celebrity Twitters. Twitterers. Tweeters. Or something like that.

Celebrity Twitter #10
Ashton Kutcher
Yes, Ashton Kutcher is actualy quite intelligent and pretty profound at times, but he's been discussing God a little too much lately, which worries me. Celebrities are only allowed to thank God on a stage when winning award, they're not allowed to have full on discussions about Him. Gosh!

Celebrity Twitter #9 
Christopher Walken
Yes, Christopher Walken is that creepy guy who talks funny and asked for more cowbell on Saturday Night Live, but his Tweets are hilarious, albeit they make for some good horror movie premises. For a little taste of what Christopher Walken has to offer, I give you this: "I claim to be frightened of horses but do so only to get out of attending parades. It's peculiar but has served me well. The horses get it."

Celebrity Twitter #8
Diddy is annoying at best, yes, but he does have some redeeming qualities when he's not busy jerking off to himself. He spends most of his Twitter time promoting things he's about to do and bigging up his artists. Which isn't such a bad thing.

Celebrity Twiter #7
Wil Wheaton
To be quite honest, I was not very familiar with Wil Wheaton until I joined Twitter (he's best known for his role in Star Trek: The Next Generation). But man, this boy is freakin' hilarious! And if this is any help, he's a big fan of Guinness beer. That, and, well, more Guinness. "You know what goes well with Guinness? Another Guinness."

Celebrity Twitter #6
Jimmy Fallon
Jimmy Fallon has been Twittering like crazy ever since he took over for Conan at Late Night, and he's a better man for it. He gets feedback from his followers immediately and can make improvements to the show thanks to their comments. He even tries to make the show somewhat interactive - when he had Tracy Morgan on, he told his followers: "We're gonna do a 'shared experience' tonight. So see if you can get a Snuggie, A Super Sour Warhead, and a bird call." Hilarious!

Celebrity Twitter #5
Britney Spears
Okay, so she's not shaving her head and attacking pappos with umbrellas anymore, but I'm sure if you keep following her, eventually Britney Spears will Twitter herself into a rage once again. Just kidding, of course. But Twitter does show you a softer, more maternal side of Britney though: "Spending a rainy day with my boys watching movies. They are really into Kung Fu Panda and Madagascar 2." Come on, you can just about hear the rage in her voice...

Celebrity Twitter #4
John Mayer
John Mayer is the biggest sellout, so following him on Twitter is a given. The guy really reveals everything about his life and, although you can tell he is quite intelligent via his articulation, he does sometimes make me laugh with some inane Tweets: "BREAKING CELEBRITY NEWS: I was sitting with my legs crossed for too long and my penis fell asleep." Wrong on so many levels, he is.

Celebrity Twitter #3
Larry David
He may not update as often as I'd like, but when Larry David does Tweet, he offers up some profound things to think about: "If I say I'm going to go for a run, but instead play golf and ride in a cart, does that still count as exercise?" You do the math.

Celebrity Twitter #2
Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert is hilarious on his show, and his one liners on Twitter are even funnier. Not only does he manage to keep you wanting more with every Tweet, but he can make you laugh with a 6-word update. Best one so far? "A, E, I, O, U, and sometimes Y? Consonant or vowel? Make up your mind, we're at war."

Celebrity Twitter #1
Tina Fey
Tina Fey is, far and away, the funniest Twitter user in the history of man; it's no wonder she's a comedy writer. This woman can turn something as simple as corn into an object of hilarity: "I don't know why I even bother chewing corn anymore." If you're not following her yet, start right now; you won't regret it!

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